Repress Me No More

Attractive woman with raised arms shouting to the wind

What is repression all about? Why do we do it.  Why can it feel problematic?  And how do we begin to do something different? On this episode, Jenny answers a woman’s letter, offering some ideas for how to manage a past life of repression.

Listen here or subscribe to “Ask An ExMormon” on iTunes podcasts.

In The episode Jenny asks for anyone to leave comments on the “benefits of living a repressed life,” or “the benefits of repression.”  If you have any ideas for the letter writer add them in the comments below.  *NOTE: Just because something had a benefit to us for a period of time doesn’t necessarily mean we need it anymore.  Finding benefits is simply a way to loosen our grip on the subconscious, “self-protective” pattern, and NOW consciously learn ways to get those benefits met in a new and healthier way.

10 thoughts on “Repress Me No More

  1. I’ll offer a benefit I got from repressing. It allowed me to put off dealing with overwhelming emotions/situations until I was ready. I don’t think this is a bad thing. Repression allowed me to keep going, keep meeting my responsibilities when the emotions from certain situations could have overwhelmed me to the point where I couldn’t meet those responsibilities. I think of repression as being the box that I could put my “unsafe” emotions into until I was ready to take them out and work with them.

    Great episode! Good luck to the letter writer. You’ve been through a lot but my guess is down the road you will be surprised by your own strength.

    Also, I love Jane the Virgin.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have really great self control.
    I can bluff vendors, co-workers and bosses because I can delay how I react to emotional situations.
    I can choose how I react to my kids.
    I kept myself safe when I was actually in danger by delaying my response to dealing with the Church.
    I have dealt with hard things in my marriage well, even when I wanted to run away.
    I can interview really well because I can delay my emotions.
    I’m successful in my career.


    • That’s perfect! Very helpful in trying to come up with my own list of ways to see how repression could have benefited me as well.


  3. Thank you!!! It felt so nice to feel heard! So many things felt spot on. Throughout this process I’ve been so uncomfortable with a lot of the emotions going on and haven’t known what to do with those emotions. It was so perfect to hear your insights. I don’t feel so stressed about my emotions, to think I can just sit with them and that’s enough. It’s relieving. I feel hopeful for this process and the things I’m starting to learn.

    Also I really appreciate the sense of community you brought out, along with the above comments. As I mentioned leaving the church has created some sadness for the loss of community. It’s nice to have hope that I can find a more authentic community.

    I really appreciate you connecting with me on a more individual level for this podcast, again it was nice to feel heard.

    Repress Me No More


    • Yay!! It felt exciting to read that you don’t feel so stressed about your emotions. It really can feel so relieving to realize you don’t need to “do” anything with them, other than be with them.

      Thank you for reaching out and sharing, and I hope you will continue to create beautiful relationships and connect with amazing communities…including the one here 🙂

      Much care!



  4. I have spent a LOT of time thinking about this podcast. I’ve never really thought of myself as one who represses my emotions, but after listening and doing a lot of thinking, I realized that I repress a whole lot more than I realized! My biggest reason was protecting myself. I was (and still am in a lot of ways) surrounded by a lot of unhealthy relationships. Some of my earliest memories as a child are situations where I didn’t feel safe when I expressed my true emotions, so I learned at a very young age to repress in what should be my safest relationships (my parents and siblings and extended family…and eventually my now ex-husband). I’m so grateful that I’m slowly coming out of this and learning how to deal with life and relationships in a healthier way. Thank you, Repress Me No More & Jenny, for exploring this topic and for the opportunity to listen and meditate and grow from it.


    • Amazing! Thanks for sharing. I felt waves of sensation in my body as I read. Maybe because I was relating on some level. Powerful to see it more clearly :)….as it then gives us a chance to start priming our desire for something different.


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